Weakness

OKAY, my whole upper body is aching, the worst ever. It's like they are screaming every minute, "I don't wanna move!" I have never expect my muscles to complain like this before, probably from the self preservation habit that I have. Come to think of it, I have never try to exert my body to the maximum, always trying to reserve some strength for emergencies, for which I have no idea. No wonder I can't build up my body.

I have succumb to smoking again today, with Siyuan, and Jeremy. I'm damn weak. Can't even bring myself to say no, again. Yet I couldn't be possibly avoiding all the god damn smokers that's my friends. It comes down to the evident choices:

1. Say "No"
2. Carry on since I didn't spend on it

Knowing myself, I will not tolerate myself to live off on others, and eventually, I would be buying cigarettes again before I know it. Wei Ling told me this just now: "Attitude determines the Altitude." Even though the context that it is used is different, I guess it could well represent what I'm supposed to do in this situation as well.
---> Option 1.

But how am I suppose to go about doing it? When I don't hate the image of being a smoker.

*racking my head*

I shall... Buy super alot of candies to eat (especially those that are mint). Argh I'm an idiot.

Saw Boo in Hall 11 just now. He's gone into the "lock yourself in the room" mode, pretty similar to what I'm doing right now too. It's like a deja-vu, seeing myself in place of Boo. It's unhealthy, I realise. So much for saying others, and not myself, and now I'm gorging myself with CNY food. It's a season to be sicky. LOL...

My hands are not recovering. Darn... Looks like I'm gonna take drastic measure to let it recover, for example, not writing. Ha ha.

Maybe it's due to the fact that I didn't faithfully apply the medicine that's been given to me by the doctors. But applying just makes my skin peels faster, which doesn't really affect much. The bubbles just keeps appearing, like something is beneath my hands blowing bubbles out. The more irritating thing is, it itches. -.-

Let's just go apply the cream, and sleep, since I have early lessons tomorrow morning, and I skipped all my lessons today. *feeling bad*